President Putin,
I do not understand what happened between you and Obama, but I know, and now you know, you can stop the insanity.
It is very simple.
First, inform Crimean residents their retirement checks will be the same as Ukraine for the next 6 months. And if Crimea remains in Russia retirement checks will grow over 5 years to match Russia.
Second, inform separatists that they will not be welcome in Russia, unless they immediately disband and put down their weapons.
Immediately.
Let them know that your GRU has a list of names, and the GRU will begin executing separatists.
Third, tell all Russians world-wide, they may return to Mother Russia.
Fourth, tell the world the truth: Crimea was in retaliation for Syria; Crimea will go back to Ukraine. If not, then admit you will pay the fair market value for stolen Crimea of 1 Trillion dollars at 12% interest over 50 years.
Fifth, return the money that Yanukovych took to Russia, pardon him if you must. Retire him at the rank of Colonel, but return Ukraine’s money.
Sixth, tell eastern Ukraine, you cannot afford them, you do not want them.
And lastly, remind the eastern Ukrainians what you think of them: They are subhuman, or they would be in Mother Russia; you think they are trash, just like other Ukrainians; and you would prefer they stay in Ukraine, but if they must, they can return to Mother Russia.
Wayne
luvsiesous 