I really do not talk about this period of my life much.
Clinically, I would probably have been diagnosed as at least mildly depressed. So, let us begin that journey gently and slowly.
I was in college (university,) and I burned out on school, work, work, and more work. I had three jobs and University classes. And I was a Math major.
I burned out.
I had a spiritual break down. I began drinking, heavily. God no longer existed to me.
Don’t misunderstand, I did not become an atheist. I still “knew” that I had had spiritual encounters in my life. I just no longer had any idea what those encounters meant in the real world of empiricism I had learned as a Math major.
But, I was not really comfortable with “god” anymore, much less the “God.”
I finally became comfortable with the idea that I had “grown up.” I had learned that in the modern world, “god” was not a part of reality.
Give me a couple of weeks, and I will fill in why this experience led to my passionate study of evolution and Genesis. I would have studied the Big Bang anyway …. And I am passionate about that as well.