Many of you have followed me over the last two years, so you know I speak from the heart. And you know that I try to maintain fairness.
I do not think I have violated my ethical standards, but still, I apologize for getting closer to violating my standards than I should have gotten.
You know about my fairness, but you do not know why.
When I was in High School, I knew I was pretty smart, but I did not enjoy being smart.
But, I still had a very quick tongue. And I could take what someone was saying to me, twist it around and shove it back at them.
People laughed, they thought it was funny. And for a while, that egged me on. I became better.
And at one point, I was destructively good at tearing someone apart. It was as if I was psychic. I could feel from someone their weaknesses. And even worse, I could see their motivation. Not just that they were weak, but I could sense what made them weak.
And I could just tear someone apart …. like a comedy routine, better than any political satirist I have ever seen.
And one day, as I had a friend in tears she was laughing so hard at herself, I realized. Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
I was feeding upon her weaknesses. I was enjoying humiliating her.
And I prayed right then and there that God would take that gifting and power from me.
So, I detest someone trying to insult me, because I know the power; I have been consumed by the power; and I have seen no good come from it.
Insulting someone to ‘win and argument;’ ‘look cute;’ or even to make yourself ‘feel good’ does not glorify the image of God that God has placed in each and every one of us.
Allowing myself the temptation of excoriating someone merely because they were being rude to me, is no excuse …. No matter how tired I am, no matter how little sleep, or even how much I hurt, there is no excuse. Not to me. Not for me. So, I apologize to you, and I apologize to myself.
Thank you for being loyal readers.
And helping me make the world a slightly better place.