I blog on sex, and I find my blog linked on a Pick Up Artists web page.
Well …. two things.
Frist, I better expect some new readers expecting a steamy and sexy topic.
And second, we have a great misconception about sex in America.
So, let us begin with what we get wrong and why, then let’s discuss the good about sex.
There is a great prejudice in America today about sex. We call it taboo. And we say the taboo is bad, and the Europeans do not have the taboo.
We say our taboo is from the Puritans and other Christians.
OK, the European culture was definitely Christian, and it is still marginally Christian. And they do not have this problem. So, what are we really saying?
I think Christian America dealt with greatly divergent views of family by trying to shelter children as they grew up from the bad side effects of sex. Teen pregnancies. No father in the picture. The costs of raising children. Etc.
Then the cultural answer was that Christians were trying to take the fun out of sex.
That is not true. Women who live for a long time in a monogamous relationship (one man and one woman) have much greater levels of sexual satisfaction than women who sleep around.
The same is true for men.
When I first noticed this, I was in college. I wanted the wild life. But, books like Shere Hite’s report on sexuality and Kinsey’s studies told me that the monogamous life was more fun and better.
Over the last 40 years we have seen STD’s go up about six fold. We went from around 5% to over 30%. Many of those diseases don’t kill you, but why would you want to get the flu if you do not have to?
Back to the fun aspect of sex.
It seems that both men and women enjoy the mental and emotional aspect of love-making. And the spiritual.
Conservative Christians, then Conservative Catholics have the most fun. Followed by conservative Mormons then monogamous Atheists. And down the list are the 20 year olds who live together for long periods of time followed by those who sleep around.
Sexual excitement seems to have a spiritual connection that cannot be faked. Unlike orgasms which can be faked, the intimacy for true sexual pleasure needs to be real.
So, why would culture mislead us?
Pingback: A Debate About Hook-Up Culture | SNS Post