Why is blame such an easy thing to do?
Don’t misunderstand me. I make mistakes. But, when I make a mistake, I take credit for my mistakes.
And honestly? I am not talking about the Political lack of responsibility, although much of what I will write would fit Obama and his presidency, or Bush and his, or Clinton …. etc.
For those of you who regularly read my blog, you know about the incident at the movies. I still cannot believe the man cried when faced with reality. A simple, “I am sorry. What can I do to fix the problem would have sufficed.”
A girl friend just tried the blame game on me.
And you get the blame game as often as 5 times per mile when you get on the freeway.
I think it is a reflection of a serious lack of responsibility. Don’t you think?
Let me illustrate my point with an old Army incident. Slightly less political than using recent presidents. And not as emotionally charged as using my current life.
I worked for a Captain Heiney, a name like his should be framed. But, he had serious issues with leadership. And for the most part, he lacked leadership skills.
Unless it was leading a toast in a bar.
Let me think for a moment, am I being tacky, or am I being descriptive? You know the company commander who replaced him said something similar to me. So, I think I am being more descriptive than I am being tacky.
It came time for the Captain to read me my evaluation report. Now my female Lieutenant had told me the Captain was “out to get you, Sergeant.” When she told me that, I really thought she was losing her mind. She was a black female, and she had yelled at me a lot. I really thought she was stressed out enough to be losing her ability to analyze the situation.
Unfortunately, she was stressed out. And I realized it was the Captain who was causing the stress.
I had worked for the Captain about 3 months.
The Captain told me, “Your problem Sergeant is you do not take responsibility for your actions. You are constantly blaming others instead of getting the job done.”
I replied, “Sir? Something tells me that my accomplishments this last 3 months will be positive bullets on your Evaluation Report. So, why are you claiming those actions to be negative on my report.”
“There you go again. Always blaming everyone around you. Just take responsibility and sign this Evaluation Report. Everyone knows it is true. You are always like this, just ask anyone in the Unit.”
My answer and his response were rather classic.
“Sir, you should hear what they say about you, and maybe we should evaluate you based upon their opinion. Don’t you think so, Sir?”
He jumped. He had been sitting on the back (top) of a pew. Yes, we were in the Chapel. He jumped up and off of the top of that bench like he had been hit hard. He staggered back three steps and tried to get his balance so he could sit on a different pew.
“Sergeant? We are not talking about me here.”
Well? What do you think? When we start blaming others for our inadequacies, aren’t we really talking about our selves? Or ‘Id’ is what is in turmoil. Our inner self. Our adult psyche. Maybe even our soul.
What I hadn’t quite told you about that story was that I had saved the young Captain from failure. In two months, I had gotten the young Captain commendable ratings on two Army level inspections.
I had ‘found’ the fifteen thousand dollars of equipment he had lost in the third month.
As to why he thought our relationship was so personal? And why he was so busy attacking me?
He thought I was an undercover Army FBI agent investigating his actions (US Army Criminal Investigation Division). And yes, he had a long list of issues.
For the short list, when you work in Intelligence, don’t go into business with prostitutes …. I think the media mentioned something about that during our recent Secret Service fiasco in Columbia ….
His inner motivation was to blame me so he could feel better about himself.
Don’t misunderstand me. I make mistakes. But, when I make a mistake, I take credit for my mistakes. What was the young Captain blaming me for when he said, “You always blame others instead of getting things done?” Time. It took time to fix problems. It took time to fix the problems which were there when I got there. In his mind, I didn’t work. I didn’t do any work.
Just figuring out the Lieutenant had been honest and the Captain was not was a lot of WORK by itself. Forget the fact that the US Army only really gives you six hours a day for your professional job – not complaining. But, the Army was a lot of work when it was work.
The rest of the time was “Gravy Train!”
So, why do we blame others thinking that will fix things?
The Captain blaming me did fix one thing, I realized I could not live in pain and deal with silly politics in an ‘Intel Unit.’
That realization came just after that incident in the Chapel. A Major came up to my office. He looked at me and said, “The Army is not fun like it used to be Sergeant.”
Needless to say, I was not sure if he was trying to bait me into saying something I shouldn’t or not. But, I replied, “Sir, being in constant pain, I can relate. It is just not fun putting up with both, the pain and the politics.”
That realization let me get out with my mind intact.
What do you think?
Will we ever get over the blame game?
Is it because blame is so easy?
Is it a lack of responsibility?
Or, is blame just a deep component of Human Nature? Or, is it not a component of Human Nature but a component of our MODERN lifestyle?
I need to think about that last sentence as well.